You Can Say No to After School Activities

My husband and I have disagreed about this since before we had kids. He said he wanted his kids to play football in a league. I said if he wanted them to play football he could go in the backyard and play it with them.

We have three girls now so there hasn’t been that much football. But there also haven’t been many afterschool activities.

One reason is that I don’t want to spend all my time driving my kids around. I don’t want to play taxi service like a lot of the moms I know. It will not make me happy. In fact, I think it will make me disgruntled, like the moms I know that do it.

And yes, that’s selfish. But I am a better mom when I pay attention to what makes me happy and don’t live my life by giving everyone else priority over me.

Up until a couple years ago, we were both working full time and the kids were in full time care. We didn’t even have time for more stuff. We wanted to do stuff with them.

Also, when my kids are really interested in an activity, I am open to it. When they wanted to do ninja warrior and they were both in the same class once a week, it wasn’t a problem.

Right now they want to do a dance class and my husband said he would sign them up. I said, “You know if you sign them up for dance class that means you’re in charge of that and you’re the one bringing them, right?”

I don’t think my children are going to be professional athletes, and maybe I’ve already taken that decision away from them, but I don’t think so. My brothers were professional athletes and I have an idea of the commitment that takes. But my oldest child is only 8 years old and I don’t think we’ve taken that decision away yet.

They’re way more interested in dance and singing anyway, and they do that all the time at home. We give them plenty of space and opportunity for that, even if it hasn’t happened at a studio yet.

There are definitely times I think at least one of them might be a professional in the entertainment industry, and if so I can provide the videos of them singing/dancing at age 3.

I have friends that feel guilty about not having their kids in more activities. I can’t relate to that because I don’t feel any guilt about it. Will there be a day where one of my children laments me not introducing some activity to them earlier? Probably, but I think that’s just the way life goes. I want to provide my children with all the opportunities I can, but I also want to live my life.